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IMG_131090806949713Chosing this for “words of wisdom” today.
This year has been a year of choices for me so far. I’ve thought for a long time about people around me, and situations I was in together with them. And I’ve thought closely about what I want and where I want to go. Sometimes people around you are holding you back and they don’t accept you’re choices because of many reasons. Sometimes it’s because it feels saver for them if everything stays the same, something it’s about the kind of power they’ve over you, sometime change is scary for them and if you make changes you threaten their routine.

If done several changes to my live this year, chosing things not everyone around me accepts. Like chosing to take a yoga teacher education, stop working for some festivals and things like that, and I’ve turned my back on some people.
I’m deleting people throwing dirt about me from my Facebook friend list. The same actually also happens to people how always are around when I can do a job for them and never ever give anything back. Or people who pretend to be your best pale, but if you asked them out to take a coffee they don’t even answer the questions or/and have a facial expression if they just stepped into dog shit. bad news for some people of course, but sorry you’re not allowed to stay in my self, and I won’t work my bud of for you anymore. Good luck for your future guys!

Some weeks ago I was invited to come for dinner at a friend’s place. I hadn’t been there for a while and was looking forward to it. But the evening didn’t turn out nice. My friend used the opportunity to tell me “how she actually felt about me”. According to her I’m not doing anything right in my life, I’ve got a big ego and walk about everyone just to get to my goal, and I’m never doing anything for anyone unless myself. In short terms I’m a selfish bitch. I just don’t realize it by myself so she had to tell me that.
She things that at an age of 42 I should be old enough to realize that a single-life with an artistic lifestyle isn’t the way to life your life. Chosing a yoga teacher education on top of it and still believe I can paint and call it art is the biggest prof of me having a midlife crisis.
According to her I should be living with a guy with a good paid job, taking care of children and a house, driving a car and bake cakes each Sunday. She was worried for me since at my age I hardly gonna find a descent guys, everyone who’s not taken is a person with a lot of mistakes, probably they also are stupid people…. But if I meet a stupid guy I would be lucky because he probably wouldn’t realize how selfish I am… And I still might have a change to move into a house, getting a car and so on…I don’t think I have to tell you that it turned out to be a very short dinner visit. I tried to talk to her later and she did send a lot of messages just telling me more about how stupid I am…

Well. She’s one of the person who don’t need to worry about me and my lifestyle anymore since I take myself out of her live. When I look around me I think I don’t need to worry about be standing alone.
Of course to turn your back on longtime friends never is a fun thing to do. But sometimes you grow apart and it’s the best to cut the contact.

Well, that was it for today. Promise you something more “happy news” tomorrow 🙂
Have a great evening! 🙂

 

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